absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
