Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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