Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
