C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
