My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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