he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
