you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
