he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
