It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
