I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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