they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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