my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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