So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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