**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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