The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
