Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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