come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
