You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
