rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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