ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
