I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
