I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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