He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
