vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
