We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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