dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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