Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
