So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
