But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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