and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
