I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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