Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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