we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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