I feel great
I just peed on a car
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
