hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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