I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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