if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
