I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
