I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
