My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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