I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
