for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
