I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
