So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
