i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
