How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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