So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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