It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
