Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
