I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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