also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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