I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
