i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
