i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
