Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize