U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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