I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
