sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
