Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
