Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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