At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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