Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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